Emotional Regulation: The Bridge Between Feeling and Thriving

We all experience moments when emotions feel bigger than we can hold, when anger flares unexpectedly, sadness lingers, or anxiety takes over before we’ve even named it. These moments are part of being human. But when intense emotions repeatedly derail our relationships, decisions, or sense of self, they can leave us feeling out of control, disconnected, and exhausted.

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in ways that are adaptive rather than reactive. It’s not about suppressing feelings or becoming “calm” all the time—it’s about creating enough space between stimulus and response so we can choose how to act instead of reacting automatically.

The Science of Emotional Regulation

From a clinical perspective, emotional regulation involves several interconnected systems:

• The prefrontal cortex, which helps us think ahead, plan, and pause before acting.

• The amygdala which rapidly detects threats and triggers emotional responses like fear or anger.

• The autonomic nervous system which governs stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) and recovery states.

When stress or trauma dysregulates these systems, we may struggle to access rational thought, lose perspective, or become easily overwhelmed. For many neurodivergent individuals, especially those with ADHD or autism, these regulatory challenges can be compounded by sensory sensitivity, executive functioning differences, and a heightened baseline of nervous system activation.

Ayurveda’s Perspective

Ayurveda sees emotions not as isolated mental events but as expressions of mind-body balance. Each person’s constitution (dosha) influences how emotions are experienced and expressed:

• Vata types may experience rapid emotional shifts, anxiety, or overwhelm.

• Pitta types may feel intense anger, frustration, or impatience.

• Kapha types may be prone to withdrawal, sadness, or emotional heaviness.

In this view, emotional regulation begins with balancing the underlying constitution through daily routines (dinacharya), nutrition, breathwork (pranayama), and sensory therapies. This approach complements modern psychology by addressing the nervous system at both physiological and energetic levels.

Practical Strategies for Emotional Regulation

1. Name the emotion — Language helps engage the prefrontal cortex, reducing amygdala hijack.

2. Anchor in the body — Use breathwork, progressive muscle relaxation, or Ayurvedic self-massage (abhyanga) to ground.

3. Create predictability — Consistent routines support nervous system stability, especially for neurodivergent individuals.

4. Use sensory regulation — Calming scents like sandalwood or lavender, cooling or warming teas, or gentle sounds can shift emotional states.

5. Pause before responding — Even a few seconds of mindful breathing can help shift from reaction to intentional action.

6. Tend to the long game — Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and regular movement all improve baseline resilience.

Bridging the Clinical and the Holistic

Emotional regulation is not a quick fix; it’s a skill we build over time, integrating self-awareness, nervous system care, and relational tools. In my work, I blend trauma-informed psychology with Ayurveda’s individualized, whole-person approach, helping clients not just cope with emotions, but feel them fully, understand their roots, and respond with greater clarity and self-compassion.

When we learn to regulate, not suppress our emotions, we open the door to deeper relationships, better decision-making, and a steadier sense of self. The goal is not perfection, but a more compassionate and spacious relationship with our inner world.